Sleep training

Before I had Archie, I hadn’t given much thought to how I’d get him to go to sleep and I’d certainly never heard of sleep training before. About 4.5 months in and having endured 5 consecutive weeks of literally no sleep, the 3 of us were all completely miserable and my friend said I should consider sleep training. I’m so glad she did because it was a huge turning point and we’ve never looked back since.

sleep training

4 month sleep cycles

At around 4 months all babies go through a development change whereby their sleep cycles change and become more like that of an adult’s. It won’t always be hugely noticeable as some babies cope better with the change than others. For us, when Archie was just over 3 months old he started waking every 45 mins-1 hour in the night and was pretty much refusing to nap in the day.

I’ll admit that we made a few mistakes which didn’t help. Firstly, we never put Archie down to sleep when he was awake. Mostly we would feed him to sleep and in the daytime would hold him during naps or at bedtime we would have the fun battle of trying to put him down without him noticing! But after a while, babies will refuse to feed to sleep and so we began singing and rocking him instead but this quickly became exhausting when it took around 45 mins for him to actually fall to sleep.

He slept OK in the car but rarely slept in his pram. So after 5 weeks of literally no sleep, I was completely desperate and was lucky enough to speak to a friend who talked me through sleep training and ultimately gave me the push I needed to try it.

Sleep training in action

Sleep training is essentially just a way of teaching your baby to self-soothe so that when they wake up in the night they can soothe themselves back to sleep. It’s an important milestone for your baby to learn and some won’t need much encouragement whereas some will need your help to learn.

The very next day after speaking to my friend, we decided to put Archie in his own room and start sleep training. I appreciate not everyone would be happy to put their baby in his/her own room at this age (4.5 months) but we realised that we were all waking each other up in the same room and given we had a movement sensor/ monitor we were happy that he would be safe.

In terms of the sleep training method we used, essentially it goes like this:

  1. Put baby down awake (make sure they are well fed and dry first)
  2. Give them a kiss on the head and say “It’s night-time/ nap-time now” and walk out of the room
  3. If baby is crying after 2 mins, then go back in and repeat step 2
  4. Double the time you go back in each time, so after you went in at 2 mins, if they are still crying after 4 mins (6 mins in total since step 1) then repeat step 2
  5. And so on….

Essentially you can do any routine you want in step 2 but the key is to repeat it every time you go into the room and do not pick them up. That way, eventually they will understand that there’s no benefit in crying and they will fall to sleep more easily.

Of course, the above all sounds so simple in theory but in practice it can be very emotional and it will be very difficult for you to hear your baby crying and to not pick them up. The first few days were really tough but I made sure my husband was around for morale support and that made the world of difference. I also made sure I kept busy and away from his room (with the monitor) during the times when he was crying so I didn’t solely focus on it.

But to be honest, I was amazed at how quickly Archie took to it. Within a few weeks, he was mostly going down without crying at all (or very little) which I would never have believed previously. And even at the worst times, Arch would usually give in just before the 16 mins milestone (so 30 mins in total).

Nap times were probably the hardest because I would always doubt whether I called it wrong and maybe he wasn’t tired enough but it soon became a lot easier to know when he needed his sleep and his cues became more and more obvious (for him it was usually when he was becoming agitated for no apparent reason and when he rubbed his ears).

Sleep training on reflection

I completely appreciate that the above is not for everyone and if you’re not completely desperate and can find another way then that’s great. But for us, it was literally a life-saver. Sleep had always felt like such a battle and it was so draining that I never really felt like I was coping before. The change in Archie was also huge – his development came on massively as soon as he was getting the sleep he needed and he was generally just so much happier. We’re lucky that he’s been a pretty good sleeper ever since and the only downside is that he rarely sleeps anywhere but his cot which can be a bit inflexible but for us, we’d rather just work our days round his routine for a happier life.

 

Advertisements

10 things I’ve learnt since becoming a mum

Ahead of Mother’s Day this weekend, and having just had my first full year as a mum, I thought I’d take a bit of time to reflect on 10 things I’ve learnt. To say it’s been a steep learning curve is a huge understatement so to be honest the below will never do it justice but I thought I’d try and pick out the main ones. I’d love to know what you think – please leave me a comment with yours 🙂

mummy and me edited

  1. Being a mum is really hard – I mean I never expected it to be a walk in the park but my goodness no one warned me that it would be the hardest job I’d ever do. The constant mental worries, the daily emotional rollercoaster, the physical strain when you’re so tired your eyes are burning and your back/ arms are aching. Of course it’s all completely worth it and makes it all the more rewarding but I don’t think I ever anticipated there would be a job where you never switch off – ever!
  2. There is no other love like it – I remember my dad telling me this before I had Archie and he said “one day, I promise you’ll see, it’s a love that’s impossible to describe. But there is nothing you wouldn’t do for your child. It’s a love that’s completely unconditional”. And of course, he was right, there really is no other love like the love you have for your child.
  3. I will always strive to be better – whether it’s providing Archie with the most balanced meals, getting his nap schedule completely right so he’s never overtired, making sure I’m interacting/ playing with him enough etc. there will literally never be a point where I feel like I can’t do better.
  4. It’s easy to forget about your relationship – it’s only natural that your relationship will take a backseat when you have a child but to be honest I never expected it to be as big a test as it’s been. And yet at the same time, I need my husband more than ever and we’ll never be part of a more significant team. The focus may no longer be on us but I do think it’s important to make time for each other and to be reminded of where it all started.
  5. No phase lasts – when things are feeling really tough and I’m not sure I can cope, I know it won’t last forever. And at the same time, when everything seems to be going to plan and we’ve had a good few days, I know to just soak it up because it also won’t last – there’s always another round of teething/ illness to get through but it’s those times that make you really appreciate the times before!
  6. My priorities have completely changed – whether it’s planning what we’re going to do for the day, planning out the future or simply who I choose to spend my time with, my number 1 priority is Archie and what’s best for him.
  7. Over-comparisons can be unhealthy – there are so many comparisons when you’re a mum – both about your child and the way you parent. Particularly from other mums – everyone wants to know about your child’s sleep, eating, feeding, pooing etc. – and of course most of it comes without malice, we’re all just sense checking to see whether we’re doing an OK job. But I do sometimes find it a bit too much and it plays on my own insecurities so I try my best not to pry too much into other’s routines these days.
  8. My support network is more important than ever – I think it’s natural that my support network has become smaller but it’s also so much stronger than it’s ever been. I honestly couldn’t cope without my closest family and friends who have got me through some of my toughest times but have made the good times so much better too.
  9. Finding time for myself is necessary – overcoming the “mum guilt” and putting myself first occasionally is something I still struggle with now. But I also know that to be the best mum possible, I need some time out sometimes to reset and recharge.
  10. There is no better job in the world – the biggest cliché going but it really is true. Being Archie’s mum is a huge privilege and there is no job more important or more rewarding.

 

Going abroad with my 8 month old crawler

In October last year my husband and I braved a 4.5 hour flight to Tenerife with Archie for a 10 day holiday, at which point he was 8 months old and a very competent crawler. Despite having a lovely time, if I’m honest it’s not something I’d rush to do again so I thought I’d share our experience and some things you may wish to consider if you’re thinking of doing similar.

tenerife

  • Build in more time than you think you need at the airport – I know this is a difficult balance because you don’t want to be waiting at the airport with a baby to entertain for hours but make sure you build in enough time for multiple nappy/ clothes changes and feeds.
  • Check your luggage restrictions – with most airlines under 2s travel for free but they usually have to sit on your knee and they won’t be given any luggage allowance. So consider whether you need to pay for an extra bag.
  • Carrying and making up formula feeds – for travelling days I’d recommend carrying ready-made formula bottles with you so you don’t have to worry about making it up. Then think carefully about how much formula you will need when you’re away and what facilities you need to make it up. For us personally we took ready-made bottles for the whole trip which made life very easy – apart from having to fit it all in our luggage! We did pre-order some to arrive at the Boots at the airport though which worked well so that we could carry some in our hand luggage.
  • Is your baby easy to entertain? – some babies (age will play a big part here) are fairly chilled and content sitting on your knee whilst others need constant stimulation and are not happy sitting still. Clearly the former makes travelling much easier and if yours is like the latter then it might be worth travelling with friends/ family to share the load! If not, then take a couple of toys with you for the journey but be aware that they’ll probably be more interested in the things they’re not allowed/ the people around them!
  • Transfer arrangements – do you need a car seat? – if you have arranged a private transfer it’s likely you will need a car seat. When I researched into taking our own I realised that there was a high risk it could be damaged in transit so we opted to travel by coach in the end so Archie could sit on our knee.
  • What pushchair will you take with you? – similar to the above in terms of taking a pushchair that you don’t mind potentially being damaged in transit. We took a foldable Mamas and Papas one which worked well but the steering is definitely not the same as it was to begin with!
  • Is your baby a good sleeper on the move? – this was a big one for us (and something we hadn’t considered in much detail before). Archie generally doesn’t sleep anywhere but his cot which made the travelling days pretty painful. It also meant we were slightly restricted when we were away too – see next point.
  • Does your baby have a fixed routine at home? – if your baby has set nap/ meal/ feeding times at home then it might be worthwhile replicating this whilst your away to make life easier. We learnt this the hard way and soon realised that if we let Archie’s schedule rule the roost then we were all much happier!
  • Sterilising – if you need to sterilise anything whilst you’re away the cold water systems are great and you can buy dissolvable tablets which take up less space than steriliser liquids. Whatever system you choose just remember to account for it in your luggage and consider what you would do if your luggage went missing.
  • Is your baby being weaned? – if so think about taking some food pouches with you – luckily we did because the availability in Tenerife supermarkets was very limited and we didn’t want Archie to eat too much salt by eating out all the time.
  • Crawlers and pools/ the beach do not mix well – when booking our holiday I had visions of us lounging by the pool/ on the beach in a shaded area with our chilled out baby – oh how wrong I was! Archie has never really been content sitting still (even as a fidgety young baby!) so I should have known really. Keeping a crawler in the shade and in a safe, secure area at the beach/ pool is near-on impossible so you will need to accept that you won’t be spending your days sunbathing.
  • An apartment/ villa will give you more options – yes an all-inclusive hotel is appealing because there won’t be a need to cook but it does limit your options and you will feel inclined to eat all your meals in one place. We booked a hotel which had apartment rooms with half board dining so we only had to think about buying lunch. And importantly we had a separate living space to our bedroom with basic kitchen facilities which meant we could prepare easy meals/ snacks and once Archie had gone to bed we had a space of our own to chill out. Plus we had sun loungers on our balcony which was a huge plus for daytime naps so we could embrace a little bit of that sun!
  • If not in self-catered accommodation, check your dining times – the downside of having food included is that you will need to fit around the hotel’s dining schedule although if you choose a family hotel then most likely they’ll accommodate for early diners. Luckily for us our hotel started serving dinner at 6:30 which was just early enough to stretch Archie out without any major tantrums.
  • Accept your holiday will be very different than pre-baby – this is not to say you won’t have a great time but it’s probably best not to compare it to holidays you’ve had before and to accept a new way of doing things. No you won’t be getting a lie in but you’ll be the first to breakfast before it gets picked over. And yes you might be having your dinner at a time when most are having a late lunch but at least that gives you more time to yourselves in the evening. And so on. It’s all about changing your perspective and embracing a new kind of normal – something that us parents are pretty used to anyway!

If you’ve been away with your baby/ toddler, I’d love to know your experience, please comment down below.

 

Tips for surviving the fourth trimester

I’ve mentioned before about my struggle with the fourth trimester and whilst I believe nothing can prepare you (and everyone’s experience is so different) I do look back and wish I’d done a few things differently. So, as always, I thought I’d share in case it’s useful for anyone else.

foruth trimester

I always knew the fourth trimester would be difficult and it’s one of the reasons I was so anxious in the latter part of pregnancy. But nothing prepared me for the physical and emotional strain it had on me when the time came.

As well as my struggles with breastfeeding (see post here), I was overwhelmed by the feeling of not knowing what I was doing and not feeling in control of what was happening. My life was being dictated by a tiny little human (!) and I felt lost without any structure to my day/night. I’ll be the first to admit that I’m a bit of a control freak and I love routine so this was really hard to deal with. Not to mention the ridiculous number of hormones circulating in my body and a body which was still recovering from a pretty intense labour.

I felt like I was just about coping until my husband went back to work 10 days after Archie was born. Suddenly I felt solely responsible for keeping our precious baby alive and well and it all got a bit too much. Looking back there are definitely a few things I could have done to help ease the pressure:

  • Accept that it’s just a phase and it will get easier – this is probably the most important and something my mum told me a lot but I just couldn’t see the woods for the trees at the time. Your baby will change quicker than you can ever imagine and I can assure you there will come a time when things feel so much easier. Parenthood is all about riding through the changes – nothing stays the same for long so when things feel too much just be reassured that it won’t last for long.
  • Remember you’re not alone – the support from your family and friends will be a massive lifeline – don’t be afraid to ask for help or to tell someone you’re struggling. Finding mummy friends with similar aged babies is also really helpful – just having that reassurance that you’re not alone in your thoughts/ feelings will be such a godsend.
  • Have a breastfeeding back-up plan – health professionals (and probably many others) will tell you that if you really want to breastfeed you can. But what they often forget is that there are 2 parties to satisfy here and you can’t always predict what your baby is going to do or how you’re going to feel when the time comes. Have a back-up supply of things you will need to bottle feed (bottles, steriliser, and formula) just in case.
  • Be kind to yourself – when you’re feeling overwhelmed imagine what you would tell a friend in a similar situation and tell yourself the same thing. Often we’re so much kinder to our peers than we are to ourselves and now is not the time to be self-critical.
  • Try and find just a little bit of time for you – I know it will seem almost impossible but even just giving yourself 5 mins in the day to enjoy a hot coffee will make such a difference to how you feel.
  • Get out of the house as often as you can – don’t go overboard with this one because you can definitely overdo it but just going for a 15 minute walk and getting out of the house will make the world of difference to how you’re feeling.
  • Don’t just eat junk food – it will be very tempting to eat everything in sight and you will no doubt have a treat box next to your bed for the night time feeds (I’d recommend this if not!) but try to make sure you have some fruit/ veg in there too because it will only make you feel worse in the long run.
  • Invest in some easy meals – whether you batch cook and freeze before baby arrives or buy ready meals to have on hand it will make your life so much easier in the first few weeks not to have to think about what to cook.
  • Believe in yourself – no one knows what they’re doing – even if they look as if they do. You are just as capable as everyone else so just keep the faith and believe in your own ability. Yes you’ll get things wrong but so does everyone. There will be plenty of differing advice/ opinions from those around you (including health professionals) so you can rest easy there isn’t a right way of doing anything! Have the confidence to do what you feel is best and don’t be afraid to go against the crowd.

You may be thinking I’ve missed one important one – the magic word of SLEEP! But I’m pretty sure I don’t need you to remind you to sleep when you can because you will be doing it already 🙂

If you’re pregnant and have read through to the end then thank you and I really hope I haven’t scared you. It’s tough but also a really precious time. You’ll soon look back and think where did my baby go?! Why didn’t I just embrace the chaos and every sleepy cuddle whilst I had chance?

How to parent with your partner

My husband and I are one of those couples who always said we would never work with each other. We’re complete opposites, which is great for our relationship, but means we would drive each other crazy in a work environment. When we had Archie we didn’t quite anticipate how being parents would essentially mean doing a job alongside each other!! Learning how to parent with your partner is a definite skill and I’ll admit that we haven’t got it cracked just yet. But here are a few things we’ve learnt so far.

parenting

Follow my blog with Bloglovin

  1. Don’t compare who has it hardest – it’s so incredibly easy to get into the trap of doing this because, like most things, the grass often seems greener on the other side. But trust me, it’s not useful for anyone and you could probably bicker about it until the end of time. What’s more productive is accepting that you both have it hard in different ways. Parenting is always about sacrifice and compromise. So try to see it from your partner’s point of view and the things they are having to compromise, as well as your own. Clearly this only works if it’s a 2-way street so feel free to refer your partner to this post if necessary!!
  2. Don’t feel you have to do everything together – in the early days in particular, you will probably want to do every nappy change, night feed, clothes change, bath etc. together and that’s fine until you’ve got the hang of it. But once you’re both perfectly capable of doing these things it’s important to give each other a break by sharing out the load. I know it’s not always practically possible but even if it’s just letting each other have a lie in every once in a while, it will remind you that you’re not doing this on your own.
  3. Accept that they might do things differently – yes in an ideal world they’ll do everything exactly how you like it but the probability of this happening is probably close to zero! As long as they’re helping then does it really matter that it’s not in the same order as you do things? And yes it might take them 10 times as long to change a nappy, but who’s it really harming?
  4. Be kind to each other – this was something my Auntie told me was the secret to a happy marriage. Giving each other the benefit of the doubt is not easy when emotions are heightened which they often are with a baby/ child around. However, it is so important to try and see things from your partner’s perspective and remember that they might not be finding it easy either.
  5. Don’t forget to communicate – this is where my husband will be rolling his eyes because I’m particularly bad at this one when I’m feeling stressed. I often assume he knows I need help with something rather than just asking. Which means I’m usually a bit more stroppy about it when I finally get around to saying something!
  6. Make time for each other – sometimes it’s so easy to just be parents and forget about the fact you’re in a relationship with each other too. Try and get out for the occasional date night or make the most of your evenings together. Sometimes having a couple of hours without your phones is particularly helpful because then there’s no distractions (Daddy Lowe – this one’s for you!!).
  7. Be a team – Have each other’s’ backs no matter what. Agree on how you want to do certain things (discipline, routines etc.) and then stick to it. For some reason once you have a baby everyone feels they can have an opinion on EVERYTHING and they’ll let you know about it. So make sure you stick to what you and your partner agrees on in the first place. This will be particularly important when your child is old enough to play you off against each other too!

I’ll be the first to admit that the above is so much easier said than done. In fact, my husband will be laughing reading this saying “yes, you might want to listen to your own advice!” But it’s all a learning curve! So if you have any other pieces of advice, please feel free to share 🙂

Baby shopping list

One of the most exciting things about preparing for a baby is shopping for all the essentials you will need. But I also found it pretty overwhelming. Establishing what you need (vs. what’s in vogue) can be difficult. So here I’ve put together a list of what we bought and where relevant a very short review of whether it worked for us. It’s pretty comprehensive (because we got sucked into buying everything!) so I’ve split into sections. I really hope that it’s useful for any parents-to-be!

baby shopping list

Please note that all views are my own, products paid for by myself and there are no affiliate links.

Sleeping

  • Bedside crib
    • Snuzpod – worked well for us but we didn’t use the co-sleeping functionality which is its main selling point so any crib (as long as it fit the Sleepyhead – see below) would have worked fine in reality.
    • Sleepyhead – it’s hard to say whether this helped Archie sleep any better because we used it right up until he was about 4.5 months (at which point he was in his main cot so he didn’t need it). However, he was a snuggly baby so I think he would have been too exposed in the Snuzpod without it. Plus when we travelled we took the travel cot and put the Sleepyhead inside it which maintained some consistency for him so I think that worked well. It’s also useful for daytime naps as it’s easily transportable. It is an expensive purchase and definitely not essential but we found it worked for us.
    • Sheets – the Sleepyhead ones are ridiculously expensive so if you’re using I would recommend maybe having the one and using a muslin cloth over the top which you can then wash instead. For the actual crib we bought the official Snuzpod ones and they were useless as they barely fit the mattress. So I would probably try a standard bedside crib sheet from Mothercare next time.
  • Main cot/ cotbed
    • Mamas and Papas – we bought a fairly standard cotbed and it’s been brilliant. I’m not sure you can go too far wrong although I’d look at the size of the space/ drawer underneath as it’s useful for storage. The mattress needs to be bought separately and costs almost as much as the cotbed itself! We went for a Pocket Sprung Dual Cotbed Mattress one from Mamas and Papas.
    • Fitted sheets – the ones from M&S were the softest and washed well in our experience but I think they’ve since stopped selling them..! We tried a few from Mothercare and they were pretty good too.
    • Mattress protector – recommend getting 2.
  • Swaddle/ sleeping bag
    • Swaddle – some babies like to be swaddled and some pretty much hate it! But we found Archie couldn’t sleep without one for the first few months as he had such a strong startle reflex. Would highly recommend a wrapover one to start with and then moving on to one with an arm up position.
    • Sleeping bag – some babies will prefer this from birth so probably worth having one on hand and seeing what works. Archie has used sleeping bags from about 5 months and we love them because he’s such a wriggle bum that a blanket is totally pointless! We personally prefer the ones which zip up on the side and you can get them from so many different places but we like the Sainsbury’s and The White Company ones. They come in different togs so I would recommend buying a couple for the summer months (1.0 tog) and a couple for winter (2.5 tog) – make sure to buy the right sizes for the seasons!
  • Monitor
    • Angelcare – this is completely personal preference but I really wanted a monitor which had a movement sensor for peace-of-mind in the first few months and Angelcare are renowned for theirs. So we bought one which had a camera and wireless monitor with it which has been particularly useful since Archie moved into his own room (at about 4.5 months). Most have a thermometer built-in which is also handy.
  • White noise
    • MyHummy – for the first 6 weeks we used a 10.5 hour YouTube video of background car noise which worked well but drove us crazy! We already had a Ewan the Sheep too but the noise only worked for a short amount of time and you had to keep pressing it back on again which also drove us crazy! So we caved and bought a MyHummy which has a sleep sensor that activates the white noise if baby starts to stir or if there is an increase in background noise. It was an expensive purchase but has been a godsend for us. I’ve since seen that’s there a Ewan the sheep deluxe which does a similar thing and is cheaper so that might be worth checking out.

Feeding

  • Bottles and bottle brush
    • We tried the Tomme Tippee bottles but then quickly moved to Dr Browns as we found they helped to prevent wind. I probably wouldn’t buy any of the small bottles because they will become redundant as soon as your baby drinks more than 5oz. 6 bottles is probably fine to begin with and then you can see how you go. Make sure to buy the right teats – level 1 for newborn usually – but then as your baby grows you can start to increase the flow by moving up to the other levels. I’d recommend the Boots bottle brush over the Dr Browns/ Tommee Tippee ones.
  • Steriliser
  • Formula
  • Breastfeeding essentials
    • We bought the Medela electric pump as it was the best reviewed online when I purchased but I didn’t use it enough to be able to review it properly (it’s probably something you can wait to buy).  
    • I found the Lansinoh breast pads were far better (and more absorbent) than the unbranded ones so if you can find them on a deal it’s definitely worth investing. Some mums find they don’t need to use them at all so buy just a small pack to begin with and see how you go.
    • Nursing bras – I was shocked at the selection when I came to buy these – Mothercare and M&S have a small range and you can get fitted in store. But personally I found the Emma Jane bras the most comfortable and I wore them when I was pregnant too.
    • Nipple cream – In the early weeks this will be essential and I recommend the Lansinoh one.
  • Nursing chair
    • The official nursing chairs are expensive and quite clunky in my experience so we bought an armchair from Ikea which has worked fine.
  • Muslins and bibs
    • If you have a sicky baby you will go through a lot of these so definitely worth buying a few to start with. We found the muslin cloths from TK Maxx were great (any brand) and for bibs we went through so many that I stocked up from Tesco/ Sainsburys (the popper fastenings are better than the Velcro in my experience).
  • Dummies
    • Completely personal preference and some babies won’t take to them (like Archie!) but can be very soothing so might be worth having a couple of newborn dummies to hand.

Travel

  • Car seat and isofix base
    • There is a huge choice so it can be overwhelming – we went for the Maxi-Cosi Pebble Plus as it was the only one which was i-Size compatible at the time. It’s useful to choose one which fits onto your pram (although most do with the right adapters – usually sold separately). The car seats which swivel can be useful for getting baby in and out of cars but not all fit onto prams. I’ve since learnt that there are in-car safety centres where you can book a consultation and get more in-depth advice on what would work best for you and advice on installation so that might be worth a look.
  • Car mirror
  • Pram
    • Again an overwhelming number to choose from! I’d recommend trying a few out in the shops and getting a feel for what you like. Most people go for a “travel system” which incorporates a bassinet for the first 5-6 months followed by a seat which can last as long as needed. It’s handy to have one which a car seat can fix onto too (to avoid any transfers when baby is asleep!). Go for one that’s not too heavy, has good suspension, is easy to fold, has a good sized basket and fits easily in your car boot! We went for the iCandy Orange and we love it for all of these reasons.
  • Blankets
    • Have a few for the different seasons – cellular for summer and warmer ones for winter. Would highly recommend the chenille blankets from Asda.
  • Baby carrier
    • Some babies will like and some won’t (Archie fit into the latter!). Useful if you can borrow from someone to try out initially or there are quite a few sling hire services where you can try before you buy. For indoor use a fabric one usually works better and for outdoor use you will need something harder-wearing (e.g. Baby Bjorn).
  • Travel cot, mattress and sheets

Changing/ Bath time

  • Change mat
  • Change table
    • We didn’t have one and I’m glad because you only use them for a very short time (before baby is too big/ wriggly). Changing on the floor has worked fine for us!
  • Change bag
    • Not essential to have an official changing bag although they usually have lots of pockets/ compartments which are handy. I got one in the sale from Cath Kidston and would recommend. Usually come with a portable changing mat.
    • Items to include – nappies, wipes, nappy sacks, nappy cream, spare change of clothes, bottle and ready-made formula (if formula feeding), Milton steriliser wipes, dummies (where using), hand sanitiser.
  • Nappies
    • Completely personal preference in terms of brand. Pampers are great – a couple of packs of size 1 should be fine to start off with. As Archie’s got older I’ve moved to Aldi’s which I would also recommend.
  • Nappy sacks
    • You can’t really go wrong with these as they’re all pretty much the same but I like the close system on the Aldi ones.
  • Nappy bins
  • Wipes
    • Again completely personal preference so worth trying a few brands. I found Water Wipes too wet so we use Pampers now.
  • Nappy cream
    • We use Sudocrem at every nappy change which is great and prevents rashes. For stubborn nappy rashes we occasionally use Bepanthem which is very effective.
  • Baby bath
    • Would highly recommend the Schnuggle Bath which has a raised support so baby can sit comfortably and makes bathing so much easier when they’re small. Archie outgrew this at about 4 months.
  • Bath support
    • For use in the main bath, we bought the Angelcare bath support which has been great and made hair washing so much easier!
  • Baby wash and sponge
  • Bath thermometer
  • Hooded towels
    • Any would work fine – I bought a couple from TK Maxx.
  • Medicine kit
    • Colic relievers – Infacol/ gripe water – neither worked well in our experience but if your baby is colicky then it would be definitely worth trying.
    • Paracetamol – Calpol (2 months+) – useful to have on hand when baby is old enough for teething, colds, and vaccinations.
    • Cold remedies – Snufflebabe vapour rub, nasal aspirator, vapour plug-in – all useful for when your baby is really suffering with a cough/ cold
    • Teething – The only medicine (aside from paracetamol) that has worked for us has been Anbesol Liquid (over-the-counter).
    • Thermometer – very useful to have – we bought a digital one which inserts into the ear and has an age adjustment feature.
    • Cradle cap – not all newborns get cradle cap but lots do. I would recommend the Dentinox cradle cap shampoo.
  • Manicure kit
    • Nail scissors – wouldn’t recommend any of the child ones – I just use the blunt side of ours. Nail clippers are a definite no-no for me.
    • Hair brush – We use a standard one from Boots.

 Clothing

  • Sleepsuits
    • It’s so much easier to dress newborns in these than actual outfits so I would buy a few packs of these (with in-built scratch mitts) – in newborn, 1 month and 0-3 month sizes. Sainsburys/ Tesco/ Next/ M&S do a good range.
  • Vests
    • Either long- or short-sleeved these should be worn under sleepsuits (unless very warm) so buy a few packs of these too.
  • Pram suit (winter)
  • Socks
    • If you do buy any outfits you will need socks so maybe have a pack of newborn socks to hand.
  • Hat
    • It’s so hard to judge the size of this until your baby is here so maybe buy one newborn and one 1 month to start off with.
  • Cardigans
    • I was lucky enough to have a Nana who knitted us several cardigans for Archie and they were great for adding another layer. We also had a soft jacket from Tesco which was brilliant.

Play time

  • Bouncer
    • Our bouncer was an absolute godsend in the first 3 months because Archie generally didn’t like to be put down but liked the vibrating sensation of sitting in this. We bought the Joie Dreamer Baby Bouncer (when it was on offer – which these tend to be a lot of the time) and I would highly recommend.
  • Play mat
    • This is also useful from around 3-6 months so not worth spending a lot of money on but useful for providing stimulation and for tummy time. We bought a very bright coloured one from Mothercare (also on offer) which was great.
  • Toys
    • Pram toys – useful to have a few of these (ones which play a lullaby are useful for newborns) and I’d recommend the Bright Starts range.
    • Teethers – You probably won’t need any until around 4 months when babies start chewing on everything! I’d recommend the Matchstick Monkey which you can sterilise easily too (Sophie la Girafe is popular but is bigger so better for when they’re older and also it’s harder to wash because it can’t be submerged in water).

10 things I would tell my pregnant self

With pregnancy comes a whole host of emotions. As much as it’s one of the most exciting times of your life, it’s easy to spend a lot of time worrying about things that are largely out of your control. Here are 10 things I would tell my pregnant self….

pregnant self

  1. Forget about your due date – this is so much easier said than done but if you can find a way to relieve the pressure of your due date then your last few weeks of being pregnant will be a much more enjoyable experience (Read my earlier post – The Waiting Game – to learn from my mistake on this!).
  2. Set up all “baby” equipment and practice, practice, practice– trust me, there is nothing worse than venturing out for the first time with your baby and realising that you can’t put the pram up/ down. Or needing to sterilise bottles/ breast pump and getting into a state because your sleep-deprived mind can’t read the instructions. You might feel silly doing it without a baby in tow but it will be a lot easier than trying to work it when said baby is there with you, and mostly crying at you in frustration (babies are not overly patient in my experience!).
  3. Try not to stress too much about labour – whatever happens you will find a way of getting through labour – whether that’s with pain relief or without, vaginal or C-section, home or hospital birth and so on. None of it really matters in the end as long as you and your baby are OK. And as much as having a rough plan of how you’d like it to go is useful, it’s most likely going to deviate away from that at some point so try to just go with what happens in the moment and be confident in your own ability.
  4. Enjoy the time before your baby gets here – sometimes it’s easy to think solely about the future when you’re expecting but it’s also important to live in the here and now. Your world is about to be turned upside and there are a huge amount of positives that go along with that. But there’s likely to be a few parts of your “old” life that you’ll miss – time to yourself, date nights with your partner, lie-ins etc. – so try to just enjoy those last few moments as much as you can.
  5. Don’t underestimate your instincts – this goes for both during labour and when your baby is here. You know your body and your baby better than anyone so trust your gut no matter what anyone tells you.
  6. There’s no need to over-plan – I remember visiting a number of nurseries when I was heavily pregnant and spending so much time worrying about how I’d cope when I went back to work. And I hadn’t even met my baby yet! Just take each stage as it comes because you may feel differently when it actually happens and no one can predict the future.
  7. The hardest trimester is yet to come – this isn’t meant to scare you but just a reminder that you’ll go through a lot in the fourth trimester – your body will still be recovering, you will deal with a ridiculous number of hormones and you will be trying to work out how to keep your baby happy (/alive). Be kind to yourself. Accept it’s not going to be an easy road but that it’s just a phase and it will get easier.
  8. Remember you’re not alone – sometimes it feels like you need to do everything yourself to be a good mum but it’s just not true. You will need the support of your family and friends. Whether that’s physical support through helping with day-to-day tasks or mental support by being someone you can talk to. Finding mummy friends with similar aged babies is also really helpful. I’ve made a couple of life-long friends in my NCT group who have saved my sanity on many an occasion and just having that reassurance that you’re not alone in your thoughts/ feelings will be such a godsend.
  9. Have a breastfeeding back-up plan – health professionals (and probably many others) will tell you that if you really want to breastfeed you can. But what they often forget is that there are 2 parties to satisfy here and you can’t always predict what your baby is going to do or how you’re going to feel when the time comes. Have a back-up supply of things you will need to bottle feed (bottles, steriliser, and formula) just in case.
  10. Believe in yourself – go into motherhood with confidence, knowing that you can do this. Yes you’ll get things wrong along the way but so does everyone. There will be plenty of differing advice/ opinions from those around you but have the confidence to do what you feel is best and don’t be afraid to go against the crowd.