10 things I’ve learnt since becoming a mum

Ahead of Mother’s Day this weekend, and having just had my first full year as a mum, I thought I’d take a bit of time to reflect on 10 things I’ve learnt. To say it’s been a steep learning curve is a huge understatement so to be honest the below will never do it justice but I thought I’d try and pick out the main ones. I’d love to know what you think – please leave me a comment with yours 🙂

mummy and me edited

  1. Being a mum is really hard – I mean I never expected it to be a walk in the park but my goodness no one warned me that it would be the hardest job I’d ever do. The constant mental worries, the daily emotional rollercoaster, the physical strain when you’re so tired your eyes are burning and your back/ arms are aching. Of course it’s all completely worth it and makes it all the more rewarding but I don’t think I ever anticipated there would be a job where you never switch off – ever!
  2. There is no other love like it – I remember my dad telling me this before I had Archie and he said “one day, I promise you’ll see, it’s a love that’s impossible to describe. But there is nothing you wouldn’t do for your child. It’s a love that’s completely unconditional”. And of course, he was right, there really is no other love like the love you have for your child.
  3. I will always strive to be better – whether it’s providing Archie with the most balanced meals, getting his nap schedule completely right so he’s never overtired, making sure I’m interacting/ playing with him enough etc. there will literally never be a point where I feel like I can’t do better.
  4. It’s easy to forget about your relationship – it’s only natural that your relationship will take a backseat when you have a child but to be honest I never expected it to be as big a test as it’s been. And yet at the same time, I need my husband more than ever and we’ll never be part of a more significant team. The focus may no longer be on us but I do think it’s important to make time for each other and to be reminded of where it all started.
  5. No phase lasts – when things are feeling really tough and I’m not sure I can cope, I know it won’t last forever. And at the same time, when everything seems to be going to plan and we’ve had a good few days, I know to just soak it up because it also won’t last – there’s always another round of teething/ illness to get through but it’s those times that make you really appreciate the times before!
  6. My priorities have completely changed – whether it’s planning what we’re going to do for the day, planning out the future or simply who I choose to spend my time with, my number 1 priority is Archie and what’s best for him.
  7. Over-comparisons can be unhealthy – there are so many comparisons when you’re a mum – both about your child and the way you parent. Particularly from other mums – everyone wants to know about your child’s sleep, eating, feeding, pooing etc. – and of course most of it comes without malice, we’re all just sense checking to see whether we’re doing an OK job. But I do sometimes find it a bit too much and it plays on my own insecurities so I try my best not to pry too much into other’s routines these days.
  8. My support network is more important than ever – I think it’s natural that my support network has become smaller but it’s also so much stronger than it’s ever been. I honestly couldn’t cope without my closest family and friends who have got me through some of my toughest times but have made the good times so much better too.
  9. Finding time for myself is necessary – overcoming the “mum guilt” and putting myself first occasionally is something I still struggle with now. But I also know that to be the best mum possible, I need some time out sometimes to reset and recharge.
  10. There is no better job in the world – the biggest cliché going but it really is true. Being Archie’s mum is a huge privilege and there is no job more important or more rewarding.

 

Going abroad with my 8 month old crawler

In October last year my husband and I braved a 4.5 hour flight to Tenerife with Archie for a 10 day holiday, at which point he was 8 months old and a very competent crawler. Despite having a lovely time, if I’m honest it’s not something I’d rush to do again so I thought I’d share our experience and some things you may wish to consider if you’re thinking of doing similar.

tenerife

  • Build in more time than you think you need at the airport – I know this is a difficult balance because you don’t want to be waiting at the airport with a baby to entertain for hours but make sure you build in enough time for multiple nappy/ clothes changes and feeds.
  • Check your luggage restrictions – with most airlines under 2s travel for free but they usually have to sit on your knee and they won’t be given any luggage allowance. So consider whether you need to pay for an extra bag.
  • Carrying and making up formula feeds – for travelling days I’d recommend carrying ready-made formula bottles with you so you don’t have to worry about making it up. Then think carefully about how much formula you will need when you’re away and what facilities you need to make it up. For us personally we took ready-made bottles for the whole trip which made life very easy – apart from having to fit it all in our luggage! We did pre-order some to arrive at the Boots at the airport though which worked well so that we could carry some in our hand luggage.
  • Is your baby easy to entertain? – some babies (age will play a big part here) are fairly chilled and content sitting on your knee whilst others need constant stimulation and are not happy sitting still. Clearly the former makes travelling much easier and if yours is like the latter then it might be worth travelling with friends/ family to share the load! If not, then take a couple of toys with you for the journey but be aware that they’ll probably be more interested in the things they’re not allowed/ the people around them!
  • Transfer arrangements – do you need a car seat? – if you have arranged a private transfer it’s likely you will need a car seat. When I researched into taking our own I realised that there was a high risk it could be damaged in transit so we opted to travel by coach in the end so Archie could sit on our knee.
  • What pushchair will you take with you? – similar to the above in terms of taking a pushchair that you don’t mind potentially being damaged in transit. We took a foldable Mamas and Papas one which worked well but the steering is definitely not the same as it was to begin with!
  • Is your baby a good sleeper on the move? – this was a big one for us (and something we hadn’t considered in much detail before). Archie generally doesn’t sleep anywhere but his cot which made the travelling days pretty painful. It also meant we were slightly restricted when we were away too – see next point.
  • Does your baby have a fixed routine at home? – if your baby has set nap/ meal/ feeding times at home then it might be worthwhile replicating this whilst your away to make life easier. We learnt this the hard way and soon realised that if we let Archie’s schedule rule the roost then we were all much happier!
  • Sterilising – if you need to sterilise anything whilst you’re away the cold water systems are great and you can buy dissolvable tablets which take up less space than steriliser liquids. Whatever system you choose just remember to account for it in your luggage and consider what you would do if your luggage went missing.
  • Is your baby being weaned? – if so think about taking some food pouches with you – luckily we did because the availability in Tenerife supermarkets was very limited and we didn’t want Archie to eat too much salt by eating out all the time.
  • Crawlers and pools/ the beach do not mix well – when booking our holiday I had visions of us lounging by the pool/ on the beach in a shaded area with our chilled out baby – oh how wrong I was! Archie has never really been content sitting still (even as a fidgety young baby!) so I should have known really. Keeping a crawler in the shade and in a safe, secure area at the beach/ pool is near-on impossible so you will need to accept that you won’t be spending your days sunbathing.
  • An apartment/ villa will give you more options – yes an all-inclusive hotel is appealing because there won’t be a need to cook but it does limit your options and you will feel inclined to eat all your meals in one place. We booked a hotel which had apartment rooms with half board dining so we only had to think about buying lunch. And importantly we had a separate living space to our bedroom with basic kitchen facilities which meant we could prepare easy meals/ snacks and once Archie had gone to bed we had a space of our own to chill out. Plus we had sun loungers on our balcony which was a huge plus for daytime naps so we could embrace a little bit of that sun!
  • If not in self-catered accommodation, check your dining times – the downside of having food included is that you will need to fit around the hotel’s dining schedule although if you choose a family hotel then most likely they’ll accommodate for early diners. Luckily for us our hotel started serving dinner at 6:30 which was just early enough to stretch Archie out without any major tantrums.
  • Accept your holiday will be very different than pre-baby – this is not to say you won’t have a great time but it’s probably best not to compare it to holidays you’ve had before and to accept a new way of doing things. No you won’t be getting a lie in but you’ll be the first to breakfast before it gets picked over. And yes you might be having your dinner at a time when most are having a late lunch but at least that gives you more time to yourselves in the evening. And so on. It’s all about changing your perspective and embracing a new kind of normal – something that us parents are pretty used to anyway!

If you’ve been away with your baby/ toddler, I’d love to know your experience, please comment down below.